What's your idea of a perfect date?
I like grabbing a steak and telling women that they don't get to make decisions about their bodies -- that's for us men to handle.
What gift would you most like to recieve this Valentine's Day?
A framed copy of the newspaper on one of the proudest moments of my career: The day I helped orchestrate the 1995 government shutdown.
What are you drinking on your Valentine's date?
Nothing as good as what I drank during my time at Lehman Brothers. People who cause major economic crises have great taste in scotch.
Do you believe in love (specifically, do you believe that it is love)?
I believe that the deepest love is between a Republican governor and his wealthiest constituents. That’s why I cut funding for schools and local governments so I could give my nearest and dearest a really sweet tax break.
What are you looking for in a date?
I like a woman who isn’t afraid to take the wheel. And I was proud to give so many Ohio women that opportunity when I shut down convenient women’s health clinics, forcing them to drive hundreds of miles for care.